Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts

Friday, May 23, 2014

You Shouldn’t : #3- Shouldn’t put a pen (ink/ball) in your trouser/jeans’ pocket!

“Shit ,Ink…. not again..this is one of my favorite Cargo pants! O_o Damn you! ..Stupid Pen”
I don’t know whether you have been there or not but trust me I ‘ve been there a plenty of times myself. Every single time I decide” won’t do it again ever and ever and ever” but sooner or later it happens. I just don’t know how it ends up in my pocket….maybe they are my arch enemies from other planet & they do it on purpose :p. Cut the crap , who am I kidding. It’s me who puts the pen accidently or casually every single time.

So make sure you never ever put a pen in your trousers pockets ‘coz it always leaks when it’s there. Every single time ….It’s like a pen has a thing for jeans / cargos /trousers….:p

P.S.- For the previous “You shouldn’t” post , please check out the link here ..the post entitled is: “Shouldn’t fake laugh on jokes that you don’t get. :p”

Friday, March 7, 2014

You Shouldn’t : # – Shouldn’t read your gf /bf ‘s text , when in a fight!

“You have turned my life into a living hell. Just go away for god sakes!” Reply:”Even mine’s not a trip to Disneyland when I am with you…I just wish I could get a “happy life”….. & the thing continues for another 4-5 hrs…ends in a break up or a re-patch up..Only God & they(the couple) know it for sure .:p
In a fight if you happen to get a text , review it ..I mean the starting word would tell you whether it’s a bad (hate filled message) or a good (love filled one with apologies or ‘let’s not fight anymore’ stuff). So before skipping the message make sure you read & get an outline. “Not reading the text at that particular time” automatically calms things down. Trust me when I say this, it does work every time. It certainly helps calm things down which eventually makes thing right. J
P.S.- For the previous “You shouldn’t” post , please check out the link here ..the post entitled is: “Shouldn’t fake laugh on jokes that you don’t get. :p”

Friday, February 14, 2014

Sometime a “NO” works just fine! –> Part -2

Note: No connection with the first part as such , you can even go ahead and read the first part( if you haven’t already) after you read this , if you think it’d be worthwhile reading J :D

“Asking the same question over and over again , doesn’t change the answer , does it?”
People have a habit of testing other people’s patience by stating or interrogating the same things , again and again and again. I don’t know about you but that does bother me “at times”.
It’s like : “What is your name?”
“Nikhil”
“Ok , then , What is your name ?”
“Nikhil”
“Ahh , I get it..Cool , So what is your name?”
“O_O”
Not that the above conversation has ever happened ,it  kinda serves the purpose :p I used to go ahead with a “Yes” nod , all the time. I still do. But there are times when it is just not the right time. And you know what I mean by that. Being an extrovert has it’s advantages but more of disadvantages in this particular case. You , a people pleasing person can’t just say “No”. It’s like a Priest chanting Satanic prayers. You can use it to your advantage as well . If an extrovert  says “No” , they would feel a little taken aback , but they will just let it go because they know you are a type of person who can say anything to everything .So you refusing  is gonna fade away as a joke eventually and does serve your purpose too. :p
“You are a people pleasing person doesn’t mean you go ahead and do something that makes you unpleasant.”
So here are some funny , sarcastic ways or Voiceovers(the lines playing in your head) that I found from various places and some are added by me too ,so it goes like this :
Ø  I will take a pass. I have some personal work.
Ø  I hate seeing the outside world after 5...it freaks me out.
Ø  I have been very busy lately....so would rest for sometime maybe.
Ø  Can’t lend you that , might need it this weekend.
Ø  Have already promised somebody else.
Ø  It isn’t something I really dig.
Ø  Yeah..it seems cool but done that already!
Ø  Feel like just doing some indoor stuffs today.
Ø  My “God” wouldn’t be cool with that
Ø  I’m shipping out of here on a cargo rig
Ø  I just got crop dusted and have to flee
Ø  I’m too high to even step out.
Ø  Ohh , can’t give it you , “xyz” has already asked for it.
Ø  Two words: licking batteries
Ø  Already crazy enough thanks
Ø  Lets table that for the time being
Ø  Lets circle back to that
Ø  Not a good time, maybe next time.
Ø  You must be talking to one of my other personalities
Ø  I don’t do anything that isn’t virtual
Ø  Will you wear this?
Ø  My fly eyes are indicating a “no”
Ø  I am actually inventing a new color at the moment
Ø  Probably not
Ø  I’m not really talkative
Ø  I actually don’t like other humans
Ø  Go die over there
Ø  Will get back to you on this later , but not today.
Ø  Not in a good mood. Later on this month for sure. :p
Ø  “No”
Saying a “No” doesn’t mean that you are an arrogant , rude person. It just makes you say “Yes” to yourself most of the time. But if you are in a position where an individual needs your genuine help , then don’t even take a second to say “Yes”. I guess we all would do that without even thinking about the consequence. And such consequences are worth it , I’d say. J
“Be helpful or useful , not used!”
 Peace out!
 P.S. – You can check out the first part here : Sometime a “NO” works just fine! –> Part -1

Monday, December 9, 2013

You shouldn’t :# Shouldn’t fake laugh on jokes that you don’t get. :p

“Hey dude ,remember the time when you said that joke & it was real funny. (Damn it ,was it O_o ) Faking a “laugh” is the hardest. If you get the joke, it’s very good , if you don’t then don’t laugh for like 2minutes on a thing that you don’t have a clue about. Come on, have some empathy on yourself. You got it..it’s good & real funny, if u didn’t then pass on a smile & wait for the topic to change or just get the hell out of there.
Maybe, the trouble for the fake laugh isn’t even worth the joke. What if the joke was a total crap anyways!
You are there for the joke , make sure you don’t turn out to be the joke. :p :D